Reflections one year after Mom's memorial service

Today is the one-year anniversary of the memorial service we had for my Mom. Sunday was the first Sunday of Advent and also the one-year anniversary of Mom's passing. So . . . I experienced a set of contradictory emotions at church on Sunday.

On one hand, I was feeling a little melancholy remembering Mom. It was one of those times when those sad feelings came over me . . . not out of the blue, but nevertheless unexpected.

On the other hand, Advent is the time of the traditional liturgical year that we look forward to Christmas and to the birth of Jesus. We sang the Veni Emmanuel tune - better known as O Come, O Come Emmanuel in English.

This song  embodies these paradoxical emotions that I was having Sunday morning. The tune is beautiful, but very mournful yet the words of the refrain express a very hopeful:

    Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel

    Shall come to you, O Israel!

I was reminded of that fictional beauty parlor philosopher in Robert Harling's Steel Magnolias, Truvy Jones, who said, "Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion." While this refrain probably doesn't convey laughter, the hymn is still a paradox of mournful tune and joyful, hopeful words.

The scripture text of Edgar's teaching Sunday morning was Luke's account of Jesus' parable of the sower planting the seed. In Luke 8: 4-8, Jesus says:

    (4) A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path; it was trampled on, and the birds ate it up. 6 Some fell on rocky ground, and when it came up, the plants withered because they had no moisture. 7 Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up with it and choked the plants. 8 Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up and yielded a crop, a hundred times more than was sown.

Jesus, in the verses that follow this passage gives the meaning of these verses in terms of the seed being the Gospel falling on deaf ears by some people or being heard but rejected when life becomes tough or being heard and taken to heart by those who persevere.

Edgar suggested that our experiences seed hope - or they will if we allow them to. Of course there will be times that we feel like giving up, times when we are overcome with sadness. There will be times that things go well for a while and then we run into insurmountable obstacles. Truvy from Steel Magnolias also says, "Honey, time marches on and eventually you realize it is marchin' across your face."

Our experiences can certainly do a number on us - marching right across our faces! I recall Mom saying in conversations during her latter years, "The years go by in a flash. Although, sometimes the days seem to last forever!" Yes, those years were marching quickly by, but slowly each day was slowly and deliberately trudging by - right over her face. 

My dear friend Lorrie sent me this quote Monday morning after I expressed my melancholy feelings at church on Sunday:

    Life is amazing. And then it's awful. And then it's amazing again. And in between the amazing and the awful it's ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That's just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it's breathtakingly beautiful. - L. R. Knost

I Googled L. R. Knost and found out that she is "a gentle parenting advocate/consultant." As you can see, her quote is not a lot different from Mom's observation about time passing. So it is fitting that she advocates gentle parenting. My mother certainly did.